March 30, 2017.....Ten Reasons to Carry Pepper Spray - Jessica Yurinko

March 30, 2017

Many of my friends (approximately 3 of them) have made comments to me about the pepper spray I have been carrying around. Here's why:

1. You never know when you’re going to want to spice up your &Pizza

2. You can buy it in all different color canisters and impress your friends

3. You never know when your girlfriend / boyfriend is going to make you mad

4. You will no longer have to burden yourself with going to the gym to get stronger

5. The hotter spray you buy, the hotter you will feel

6. You can use it to enhance your fourth of July sparkler experience

7. You don’t have to be responsible enough to buy a dog to protect you instead

8. Your mom no longer has an excuse to send you, “Are you alive?” texts

9. You can walk anywhere at night, even the dark alleys with the rats

10. You do NOT have to worry about that $5 in your wallet getting stolen

** Disclosure: This product works against all humans except Chuck Norris.

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